Jaya Shettar, Water Matter

Yes Madam, what’s the matter?
Mr. Shettar, we need water
We’ve released 100’s of TMC
This point why can’t TN see?

But Mr. Shettar, we need more
So I’ve come to your door
Please release water first
We want to quench our thirst

Ok Madam, let’s start again
Am not giving an excuse lame
3 years of BJP rule saw 3 CMs
Alas! The monsoon never came

I don’t care about your state
I am only worried about mine
At Chennai hotel these days
They don’t serve water, but wine

If I release the water Madam
Opposition will make an issue
In fact even for my own use
Have ordered 2 cartons of tissue

I’d expected so much from you
You turned out a spoil sport
You better release the water
Else see you soon at the court

A Mystery Night from History

The year was 1999. After few months of struggle, had just begun my first job at this Indian Software company in Koramangala, purchased a two-wheeler. All in all, things were looking very positive.

One weekday evening, a close friend invited us group of classmates for her post-engagement party.  The venue was Hotel Capitol. It was perhaps the first opportunity for us all to meet after college days. So the excitement was palpable. What would be my friends reaction to my bike, my new dressing sense, cool-dude attitude, ahem ahem.

So the party got underway amidst lot of fun, frolic and food and reminiscing about the wonderful days at college. And finally, it was time to get back home. As the clock struck 11, a dear friend requested if I could drop him home, since it was pretty late for trying his luck with public transport. And of course he pepped me up by saying, “Wow! New bike. Good mate. Can you drop me home?”. That was more than enough. After all, I was waiting to hear this the whole evening. And very very eagerly, I told him, “Of course, I will drop you home”, obviously not aware of what lay ahead.

Those were the non-mobile days, so no question of calling up home to inform about the delay and so on. We started from Hotel Capitol and within the next 50 meters, witnessed a Maruti Van topple while turning in good speed in front of the Governor’s home. The Man at the wheel who was also the lonely passenger was considerably hurt, but managed to pull himself out. The Van however, was severely damaged. Enough people gathered to help the gentleman out, so we didn’t stop and decided to ignore the first warning.

Just after another 100 meters ride, in front of the High Grounds Police Station, saw a Moped lying on the road and the rider seated on the footpath with blood stained clothes. People around him were helping him with water and comforting him. Again, ignored the warning and moved ahead. Each time we saw an accident, my friend (the pillion rider) and I kept blabbering about traffic sense, rules, etc as though we were the only Messiahs of the Traffic Police’s Safety Week Event.

And in just over the next 200 meters, we witnessed the worst of the accidents that night. As soon as we crossed the Windsor Manor Bridge, we saw another moped lying on the road, while its bleeding owner (rider) lay next to it without any movement. As again, people had started to gather and THIS WAS IT!

I was supposed to be riding straight ahead a good 6 more kilometers to drop this friend home, but instead I took this god-sent cue and turned left towards home (just about a kilometer away). My friend was now wondering whatever happened to my enthusiasm of dropping him home. While I kept riding towards home, I quickly shared with him my wish of not wanting to be the next victim. Not entirely convinced perhaps, my friend quickly realised my predicament and agreed to sleep at my home.

It turned out to be one strange night, that I cannot forget after all these years.

Mind It!

My mind is a child
Whose imagination runs’ wild
Wants to achieve a lot
Keeps applying thought
Wanders here and there
But lands nowhere
Suggests I follow my passion
But proceed with caution
Assures me about my potential
Also hints that money is essential
Never fails to keep me amused
At the same time confused
Its requirements are strange
Almost out of my range
The mind continues to ponder
And all its efforts I Squander
But there will soon be a day
When the mind will have a say
Mind the master, I the Slave
My way to success it will pave

From Champs to Tramps …

Its’ been a year since
They were crowned ‘World Champs’
But after that they’ve just been
A Struggling bunch of Tramps!

Barring the WINDIES series,
They’ve failed in all matters
The bowlers and the batters
Are deep down in tatters

Injury did them in England
Where they went down 4 Nil
And when they toured Australia
They just didn’t fit the bill

In between these tours
They did shine at home
But abroad they forgot
About the Roman in Rome!

Down under saw an odd 300+ chase
A feat they managed to repeat
During the Asia Cup in Bangladesh
All this thanks to KOHLI’S grace

The focus has shifted to T20s
With IPL 2012 just about to begin
It may now be very long before
We get to see Team India win

Pizza ‘Hut-ke’ Service

A year ago, my FB wall adorned the following quote:

“The Pizza at the Express didn’t impress me much. Goes to reiterate that, Pizzas are the best when eaten in the HUT!”

And on Friday while at Birmingham City Centre, I was wondering if I had got it all wrong. Out on lunch with the Missus and the Miss at the Bull Ring Pizza Hut, we experienced something very unique that left us amused.

Being Friday afternoon, the place was crowded with Shoppers, Students, and family folks alike. So there was some unexpected (known as ‘unaccepted’ in a Customer’s world) delay in service. The ‘Miss managed’ to feast on her Pasta which solved half the problem. Meanwhile a staff member informed us about the delay and that our Pizza was getting baked. It felt like a decade had passed and the Missus and I kept looking in all directions for the staff just to find out whether they were baking rumours or Pizza! I did enough to ‘call for Attention’ and a staff member, looking sympathetically at 2 hungry souls came over to inform us that our Pizza was on the way.

But when the hot Veggie Supreme Pizza finally got delivered to our table, it didn’t seem to taste so good after all. The thin Italian base was even more thinly today, the usual taste was missing and our tongues stopped hissing. We were in the midst of this feasting detention, when the lady staff returned to check how we were doing.

The Missus, being the Extrovert that she is, replied that the Pizza base was not as crispy as it used to be, but other than that the taste was good (although she didn’t feel so). The Staff member was caught a bit off-guard, perhaps because they are always used to positive responses. She quickly came to terms with the situation and offered to bring in a replacement Pizza. When the Missus politely refused the offer, the staff member insisted that she would anyhow update the Manager on duty about the situation.

So a few minutes later, the Manager on duty (another lady in her late 20s) came over to our table to understand our concerns. Again, the missus was her polite self, making the Manager comfortable leaving me confused as to who the host was! The Manager was very much Customer Oriented and offered to strike the Pizza item from the Bill for the Pizza didn’t meet our standards. The Missus and I were a bit hesitant, what with incidents such as ‘Mosquito in the tea cup’ and ‘Hair in the Masala Dosa’ coming to our mind almost instantly. The Manager re-assured us when we told her that getting a discount was not our ultimate aim. She got the Bill generated without the Pizza and spoke to us very casually and was very friendly. She assured us that the next time we are there, the service will be much better.

Just a small incident, but speaks volumes about how this Pizza Hut outlet manages Customers.

Mana ‘Shanty’

I prayed to God and asked him
Where I could find
A familiar treasure
Called the peace of mind

God looked at me
With his usual calm face
Here was yet another mortal
Seeking his solace

He placed his hand on my head
While whispering a hymn
That sounded to me
Akin to words sublime

With a new outlook
I felt innately cleansed
The mind was calmer
And no more tensed

I woke up from this dream
Amidst the sound of chirping birds
Alas! However hard I tried
I couldn’t remember his words

Maybe he didn’t say a thing
Was it just his presence?
That made me realise
Bliss as being life’s essence

And to Thank HIM again
I went down on my knees
At last my mind had found
Its invaluable missing ‘piece’!

एक प्रतिबिम्बन

इस गणतंत्र दिवस के अवसर पर
यह सोचना उचित होगा चंद लम्हे
के जिस राह पे चले थे हमारे नेता
क्या आज उसी राह पे खड़े हम हैं

क्या बदल गयी हैं हमारी दृष्टिकोण
या हम चाहेते हैं कुछ और
आज देश की हालत को लेकर
जनाब ज़रा फरमाइए गौर

याद कीजिये उन लोगों की बलिदान
जिसके बुनियाद पे कड़ी हैं हिंदुस्तान
क्या इसीलिये हमें मिली ये आजादी
के हम पैदा कर पाए सैंकड़ों शैतान

नारी के प्रति कहा गया वोह सम्मान
जों घूस ना ले ऐसा हैं क्या कोई इंसान
एक नेता जों लोगों के लिए काम करे
और गर्व से कहे मेरा भारत महान

फिर भी निराशा के बदले
मेरा यह विश्वास हैं
के एक सुनेहरा भारत बनाने का
चाबी हमारे पास हैं

जै हिंद

2010, the year that was…

I renamed the 1st month Jan’worry’
Scraped thro’ Feb in a hurry
As I ‘March’ed towards April,
May seemed like a steep Hill!

With June things looked better
July got me my promotion letter
Enjoyed a family reunion in August
Followed by a blast in Belfast!

September was just another 30 days
October disappeared in a haze
November made me a year old
December was freezing and cold

Yet, starting from January
To the end of December
Every day this year
Has been a day to remember!

Days in Space

Ever wondered, in space what the 7 days of the week would perhaps be known as? I have just given my best shot at it.

1) SUNday
2) MOONday
3) NEPTUNESday
4) VENUSday
5) JUPITERSday
6) FARAday (Apparently, Michael did some experiment with space. That’s the only connection I could find :))
7) SATURNday

Furthermore:
• A blue moon would appear once in 76 years and this day would also be known as ‘Halley’day.
• Celestial events would be celebrated and termed ‘ASTRA’vaganza. The event would be held at a theatre known as ‘Galaxy’. ‘Stars’ would grace such occasions.
• The Local Dairy would be located on a street named ‘MILKY WAY’.

One question remains unanswered though! What made Shakespeare say “What’s in a name?”

‘Jest like that’

I am known for my spontaneous replies which are mostly funny and intended at lightening up the mood. But and naturally so, it does back-fire occasionally and I end up landing into some not so comfortable situations.

This post is attributed to my tongue-in-cheek experiences which ended up with my foot in mouth. I am reminded of an 80’s Kannada song, “Kshamisi na helodella thamashegagi” (Forgive me, I say things for fun). This song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onopxdz8uo8) is perhaps the most apt one to explain how I have, at times made a funny statement without serious intentions of hurting the person at the receiving end and try hard to get out of it.

One of the earliest incidents happened during my growing up years, when my cousins and I were taken to the family physician for a vaccination in the wake of a Cholera outbreak in Bengalooru. The Doc asked my 2 elderly cousins and I as to who was interested in getting the vaccine first. My mother, who was accompanying us, suggested that I go first. And as the Doc took the syringe and asked me to put my pant down, I told him ‘Doc, I am warning you! Don’t come close’ that instantly left my mom and my cousins dumbstruck. It took some time for my mom to comprehend the situation and with some prodding, I finally agreed to get jabbed, but not without leaving the Doc disturbed. Of course once we returned home, I got treated to a few more ‘injections’ of the pinching kind and word went around in the family about what I said to the Doc. Man!! It was such a revelation then! 🙂

Adolescence passed by, but not without its share of red moments. At college, a lecturer Mr. PN, whom I was very comfortable with, wanted me to actively take part in one of the Comp Science seminars. I was one of the organising committee members and was responsible for logistics. As the days were nearing by for the event, in front of my fellow students, he casually asked me whether the logistics booking were done! Without blinking an eyelid I retorted, “You said, you will give me the advance money! How do you expect me to book without that?” Mr. PN was taken back for a second, but being this calm individual, he took my reaction smilingly and told me “Relax, I shall give you the money right away.”

But once I got into the corporate world, things changed. I knew I couldn’t speak anything and get away. So I started responding rather than reacting. Thankfully the worst has perhaps passed by. But habits die hard, and so a toned-down version of this has still remained.

At onsite, one early morning around 5:00 AM, I got a call from the Helpdesk about a priority issue with the system. Even as I shut the main door to head to the office (about 3 mins by walk), I heard my cell ring. It was Mr. AG, my Manager. I responded casually and mentioned to him that I was enroute the office to resolve the issue but still ended up hearing some strong words from the other end about why the issue was not yet resolved. I decided to ‘pay back’ later and shut my mouth.

Around 10 AM I updated him that the issue was resolved. As typical of a manager, he said “Good that the job is done. Did you have something to eat?” The ‘Scorpio’ in me shot back “Yes, I had some yummy breakfast on phone early this morning!”. And that put things to rest.

Few months down the line when i was set to return to Bengalooru, during the ‘Leaving Do’, he mentioned to the team “NK is an excellent **** blah blah ****. But if you were to tell him something, take him to a room and tell him, ’cause you never know what you may get to hear in return”.