Quotes worth a Million

2010, the year that was…

I renamed the 1st month Jan’worry’
Scraped thro’ Feb in a hurry
As I ‘March’ed towards April,
May seemed like a steep Hill!

With June things looked better
July got me my promotion letter
Enjoyed a family reunion in August
Followed by a blast in Belfast!

September was just another 30 days
October disappeared in a haze
November made me a year old
December was freezing and cold

Yet, starting from January
To the end of December
Every day this year
Has been a day to remember!

Days in Space

Ever wondered, in space what the 7 days of the week would perhaps be known as? I have just given my best shot at it.

1) SUNday
2) MOONday
3) NEPTUNESday
4) VENUSday
5) JUPITERSday
6) FARAday (Apparently, Michael did some experiment with space. That’s the only connection I could find :))
7) SATURNday

Furthermore:
• A blue moon would appear once in 76 years and this day would also be known as ‘Halley’day.
• Celestial events would be celebrated and termed ‘ASTRA’vaganza. The event would be held at a theatre known as ‘Galaxy’. ‘Stars’ would grace such occasions.
• The Local Dairy would be located on a street named ‘MILKY WAY’.

One question remains unanswered though! What made Shakespeare say “What’s in a name?”

‘Jest like that’

I am known for my spontaneous replies which are mostly funny and intended at lightening up the mood. But and naturally so, it does back-fire occasionally and I end up landing into some not so comfortable situations.

This post is attributed to my tongue-in-cheek experiences which ended up with my foot in mouth. I am reminded of an 80’s Kannada song, “Kshamisi na helodella thamashegagi” (Forgive me, I say things for fun). This song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onopxdz8uo8) is perhaps the most apt one to explain how I have, at times made a funny statement without serious intentions of hurting the person at the receiving end and try hard to get out of it.

One of the earliest incidents happened during my growing up years, when my cousins and I were taken to the family physician for a vaccination in the wake of a Cholera outbreak in Bengalooru. The Doc asked my 2 elderly cousins and I as to who was interested in getting the vaccine first. My mother, who was accompanying us, suggested that I go first. And as the Doc took the syringe and asked me to put my pant down, I told him ‘Doc, I am warning you! Don’t come close’ that instantly left my mom and my cousins dumbstruck. It took some time for my mom to comprehend the situation and with some prodding, I finally agreed to get jabbed, but not without leaving the Doc disturbed. Of course once we returned home, I got treated to a few more ‘injections’ of the pinching kind and word went around in the family about what I said to the Doc. Man!! It was such a revelation then! 🙂

Adolescence passed by, but not without its share of red moments. At college, a lecturer Mr. PN, whom I was very comfortable with, wanted me to actively take part in one of the Comp Science seminars. I was one of the organising committee members and was responsible for logistics. As the days were nearing by for the event, in front of my fellow students, he casually asked me whether the logistics booking were done! Without blinking an eyelid I retorted, “You said, you will give me the advance money! How do you expect me to book without that?” Mr. PN was taken back for a second, but being this calm individual, he took my reaction smilingly and told me “Relax, I shall give you the money right away.”

But once I got into the corporate world, things changed. I knew I couldn’t speak anything and get away. So I started responding rather than reacting. Thankfully the worst has perhaps passed by. But habits die hard, and so a toned-down version of this has still remained.

At onsite, one early morning around 5:00 AM, I got a call from the Helpdesk about a priority issue with the system. Even as I shut the main door to head to the office (about 3 mins by walk), I heard my cell ring. It was Mr. AG, my Manager. I responded casually and mentioned to him that I was enroute the office to resolve the issue but still ended up hearing some strong words from the other end about why the issue was not yet resolved. I decided to ‘pay back’ later and shut my mouth.

Around 10 AM I updated him that the issue was resolved. As typical of a manager, he said “Good that the job is done. Did you have something to eat?” The ‘Scorpio’ in me shot back “Yes, I had some yummy breakfast on phone early this morning!”. And that put things to rest.

Few months down the line when i was set to return to Bengalooru, during the ‘Leaving Do’, he mentioned to the team “NK is an excellent **** blah blah ****. But if you were to tell him something, take him to a room and tell him, ’cause you never know what you may get to hear in return”.

Mosar illa, Cheese ide …

A friend was visiting Bengalooru on a vacation. Very excited at being home and wanting to see the developments in the city, he offered to do the grocery shopping on behalf of his parents. He went to the market, bought the vegetables and just as he was set to return, he remembered his mother telling him to get a pack of Natural Yoghurt as well.

So he headed to the nearest Bakery and asked the assistant for a pack of Natural Yoghurt. Having been abroad for a while now, our friend’s language had change a bit and it took a while for him to explain the shop assistant what Natural Yoghurt meant. Finally he remembered his pre-abroad days and said “Ah! Of course, get me curd. All I need is a pack of curd”.

Now the assistant seemed relieved. He went in and checked in the refrigerator. Unfortunately, there was no pack of curd available. As he turned around to respond to our friend that curd was not available, he remembered the words of his owner, “If the item is not available, then suggest any other closest item, say if bread is over, suggest the customer to buy buns, etc”. So the assistant decided that he will try his luck. He responded to our friend, “Saar! Mosar-illa, Cheese ide. Kodla?” (Sir, there ain’t any curd left, but cheese is available. Do you want that?)

Our friend was delighted to know that a small bakery in good old Bengalooru has now started selling Mozzarella Cheese. All excited, he said “Howdu, adoo beku” (Yes, I need that too). As the assistant handed him a pack of Cheese, our friend questioned the assistant with a confused look, “Curd packet yellide?” (Where is the pack of curd?)

The even more confused assistant repeated the words, “Saar!! Helidanalla Saar, Mosar illa, Cheese ide antha?” (Sir, Didn’t I just tell you that curd is not available, but I can give you Cheese instead?) Slowly the words appeared to make sense to our friend, who politely refused the product and returned home with a sheepish grin on his face.

ARGHHHHH GROUSE!!!!

ARGOS is one of the best retail stores in UK and personally I have had no issues with the products that I have purchased here. Last weekend I was at the ARGOS store in Solihalli town center to purchase a YAMAHA Keyboard for the Daughter.

I had the catalogue number ready and so went straight to the till, quoted the number and made the necessary payment. Just as I was about to move to the waiting area, I enquired with the salesman who served me at the till if I could also get the metal strap length sorted for the new wrist watch that Missus gifted me on my Birthday.

The salesman although polite, replied that since the store was to close in 15 minutes time, he will not be able to set the watch strap right. I thought it apt to mention that it was a small job and requested perhaps just a couple of minutes to set it right. But the salesman was clear that it would require more than 10 minutes to set it right and suggested that I come back during one of the weekdays. He further added that since it was closure time, he and his manager would have to spend the next 15 minutes in closing the accounts, serving other customers, etc. Me, being me did not further prod him and went to the waiting area.

But what I noticed in the next 5 minutes was a bit unnerving. He and his manager generally chit chatted during this time about this evening plans, about each other’s personal lives. Whilst I agree that they have a life of their own and some chit chatting at work is good, I wondered if it was right on their part to continue doing that after mentioning to me about their workload. Moreover there were at least 2 to 3 other employees at the store who too were just waiting for the store to close. On their website its’ clearly mentioned that the store is open until 16:30 hrs, so why is that they should stop serving you after 16:15 hrs and if this is indeed their policy then why is this not mentioned on their website, so that its’ clear for everyone.

There is a very famous statement that the ‘Customer is always right’. Sadly however, more often than not, ‘Even when a customer is right, he is left in the lurch’.

Most Indian news channels and newspapers are busy at present with President Obama’s visit to India with his wife Michelle. The media is working overtime to generate articles, what they ate, where he went, for which tune he danced, etc. So much that Star News is at present broadcasting a ‘Documentary’ on AIR FORCE ONE.

Wonder, who has benefited the most from Mr. President’s visit:

1) PAKISTAN: Finally realized today what an ‘ENORMOUS’ state it is. The president conveyed how much important Pakistan’s stability is for India to progress. All this while, I thought it was the other way round. Actually perhaps Mr. President meant that it is in an ENORMOUS state ….. of mess or of debt. Anyhow for the time being, Pakistan will be grinning all the way. Link 1

2) MEDIA CHANNELS: Post CWG, the media was looking out for some Sansani khabar, something that would keep the TRPs high, now Obamas visit has come to their rescue. For the next few months, Star News is most likely to repeat Michelle’s steps and Obama’s speech in their ‘Sans Bahu aur Saazish’ segment. They will dig deep in order to create a few more in-sane-sational stories about his visit. Link 2

3) OPPOSITION PARTIES: After days and days of protests against the Government on innumerable issues, the Opposition Parties, has found a new target. Yes Mr. President again and this time for not talking strongly about Pakistan’s involvement in 26/11. The Politician in question here, Mr. Rajiv Pratap Rudy has not been in the hot news for sometime now and this is just the opportunity he was looking out for. Just that the BJP was left somewhat embarrassed at the end of it all. Link 3

ज़िन्दगी के एक ऐसे मोड़ से गुज़र रहा हूँ
पता नहीं मुझको भी मैं किधर कहा हूँ
करना कुछ और चाहता हूँ
पर कर कुछ और जाता हूँ

क्या मैं बन जाऊं एक कवी
या शामिल हो जाऊं नेवी
या वेब डिजाईन करलू
वैसे मैं भी हूँ नेट सेव्वी

या बन जाऊं एक पत्रकार
और रचाऊं समाचार शीर्षक
या दिन भर बस फिल्में देखूं
और बन जाऊं चित्र विमर्शक

या गाना बजाना सीक लूं
और शामिल हो जाऊं बैंड
या पटकथा लिखते लिखते
पहुँच जाऊं फिल्म्लेंड

या फिर बन जाऊं मैं नेता
जो करता हो जूटे वादे
जो राजनीति में आया हैं
मन भर गलत इरादे

फिर सोचता हूँ की
मैं जैसे हूँ वैसे टीक हूँ
शायद उलझन में पड़े हुए
लोगों का मै प्रतीक हूँ