Quotes worth a Million

Jaya Shettar, Water Matter

Yes Madam, what’s the matter?
Mr. Shettar, we need water
We’ve released 100’s of TMC
This point why can’t TN see?

But Mr. Shettar, we need more
So I’ve come to your door
Please release water first
We want to quench our thirst

Ok Madam, let’s start again
Am not giving an excuse lame
3 years of BJP rule saw 3 CMs
Alas! The monsoon never came

I don’t care about your state
I am only worried about mine
At Chennai hotel these days
They don’t serve water, but wine

If I release the water Madam
Opposition will make an issue
In fact even for my own use
Have ordered 2 cartons of tissue

I’d expected so much from you
You turned out a spoil sport
You better release the water
Else see you soon at the court


The year was 1999. After few months of struggle, had just begun my first job at this Indian Software company in Koramangala, purchased a two-wheeler. All in all, things were looking very positive.

One weekday evening, a close friend invited us group of classmates for her post-engagement party.  The venue was Hotel Capitol. It was perhaps the first opportunity for us all to meet after college days. So the excitement was palpable. What would be my friends reaction to my bike, my new dressing sense, cool-dude attitude, ahem ahem.

So the party got underway amidst lot of fun, frolic and food and reminiscing about the wonderful days at college. And finally, it was time to get back home. As the clock struck 11, a dear friend requested if I could drop him home, since it was pretty late for trying his luck with public transport. And of course he pepped me up by saying, “Wow! New bike. Good mate. Can you drop me home?”. That was more than enough. After all, I was waiting to hear this the whole evening. And very very eagerly, I told him, “Of course, I will drop you home”, obviously not aware of what lay ahead.

Those were the non-mobile days, so no question of calling up home to inform about the delay and so on. We started from Hotel Capitol and within the next 50 meters, witnessed a Maruti Van topple while turning in good speed in front of the Governor’s home. The Man at the wheel who was also the lonely passenger was considerably hurt, but managed to pull himself out. The Van however, was severely damaged. Enough people gathered to help the gentleman out, so we didn’t stop and decided to ignore the first warning.

Just after another 100 meters ride, in front of the High Grounds Police Station, saw a Moped lying on the road and the rider seated on the footpath with blood stained clothes. People around him were helping him with water and comforting him. Again, ignored the warning and moved ahead. Each time we saw an accident, my friend (the pillion rider) and I kept blabbering about traffic sense, rules, etc as though we were the only Messiahs of the Traffic Police’s Safety Week Event.

And in just over the next 200 meters, we witnessed the worst of the accidents that night. As soon as we crossed the Windsor Manor Bridge, we saw another moped lying on the road, while its bleeding owner (rider) lay next to it without any movement. As again, people had started to gather and THIS WAS IT!

I was supposed to be riding straight ahead a good 6 more kilometers to drop this friend home, but instead I took this god-sent cue and turned left towards home (just about a kilometer away). My friend was now wondering whatever happened to my enthusiasm of dropping him home. While I kept riding towards home, I quickly shared with him my wish of not wanting to be the next victim. Not entirely convinced perhaps, my friend quickly realised my predicament and agreed to sleep at my home.

It turned out to be one strange night, that I cannot forget after all these years.

Mind It!

My mind is a child
Whose imagination runs’ wild
Wants to achieve a lot
Keeps applying thought
Wanders here and there
But lands nowhere
Suggests I follow my passion
But proceed with caution
Assures me about my potential
Also hints that money is essential
Never fails to keep me amused
At the same time confused
Its requirements are strange
Almost out of my range
The mind continues to ponder
And all its efforts I Squander
But there will soon be a day
When the mind will have a say
Mind the master, I the Slave
My way to success it will pave


Its’ been a year since
They were crowned ‘World Champs’
But after that they’ve just been
A Struggling bunch of Tramps!

Barring the WINDIES series,
They’ve failed in all matters
The bowlers and the batters
Are deep down in tatters

Injury did them in England
Where they went down 4 Nil
And when they toured Australia
They just didn’t fit the bill

In between these tours
They did shine at home
But abroad they forgot
About the Roman in Rome!

Down under saw an odd 300+ chase
A feat they managed to repeat
During the Asia Cup in Bangladesh
All this thanks to KOHLI’S grace

The focus has shifted to T20s
With IPL 2012 just about to begin
It may now be very long before
We get to see Team India win

A year ago, my FB wall adorned the following quote:

“The Pizza at the Express didn’t impress me much. Goes to reiterate that, Pizzas are the best when eaten in the HUT!”

And on Friday while at Birmingham City Centre, I was wondering if I had got it all wrong. Out on lunch with the Missus and the Miss at the Bull Ring Pizza Hut, we experienced something very unique that left us amused.

Being Friday afternoon, the place was crowded with Shoppers, Students, and family folks alike. So there was some unexpected (known as ‘unaccepted’ in a Customer’s world) delay in service. The ‘Miss managed’ to feast on her Pasta which solved half the problem. Meanwhile a staff member informed us about the delay and that our Pizza was getting baked. It felt like a decade had passed and the Missus and I kept looking in all directions for the staff just to find out whether they were baking rumours or Pizza! I did enough to ‘call for Attention’ and a staff member, looking sympathetically at 2 hungry souls came over to inform us that our Pizza was on the way.

But when the hot Veggie Supreme Pizza finally got delivered to our table, it didn’t seem to taste so good after all. The thin Italian base was even more thinly today, the usual taste was missing and our tongues stopped hissing. We were in the midst of this feasting detention, when the lady staff returned to check how we were doing.

The Missus, being the Extrovert that she is, replied that the Pizza base was not as crispy as it used to be, but other than that the taste was good (although she didn’t feel so). The Staff member was caught a bit off-guard, perhaps because they are always used to positive responses. She quickly came to terms with the situation and offered to bring in a replacement Pizza. When the Missus politely refused the offer, the staff member insisted that she would anyhow update the Manager on duty about the situation.

So a few minutes later, the Manager on duty (another lady in her late 20s) came over to our table to understand our concerns. Again, the missus was her polite self, making the Manager comfortable leaving me confused as to who the host was! The Manager was very much Customer Oriented and offered to strike the Pizza item from the Bill for the Pizza didn’t meet our standards. The Missus and I were a bit hesitant, what with incidents such as ‘Mosquito in the tea cup’ and ‘Hair in the Masala Dosa’ coming to our mind almost instantly. The Manager re-assured us when we told her that getting a discount was not our ultimate aim. She got the Bill generated without the Pizza and spoke to us very casually and was very friendly. She assured us that the next time we are there, the service will be much better.

Just a small incident, but speaks volumes about how this Pizza Hut outlet manages Customers.

Mana ‘Shanty’

I prayed to God and asked him
Where I could find
A familiar treasure
Called the peace of mind

God looked at me
With his usual calm face
Here was yet another mortal
Seeking his solace

He placed his hand on my head
While whispering a hymn
That sounded to me
Akin to words sublime

With a new outlook
I felt innately cleansed
The mind was calmer
And no more tensed

I woke up from this dream
Amidst the sound of chirping birds
Alas! However hard I tried
I couldn’t remember his words

Maybe he didn’t say a thing
Was it just his presence?
That made me realise
Bliss as being life’s essence

And to Thank HIM again
I went down on my knees
At last my mind had found
Its invaluable missing ‘piece’!

इस गणतंत्र दिवस के अवसर पर
यह सोचना उचित होगा चंद लम्हे
के जिस राह पे चले थे हमारे नेता
क्या आज उसी राह पे खड़े हम हैं

क्या बदल गयी हैं हमारी दृष्टिकोण
या हम चाहेते हैं कुछ और
आज देश की हालत को लेकर
जनाब ज़रा फरमाइए गौर

याद कीजिये उन लोगों की बलिदान
जिसके बुनियाद पे कड़ी हैं हिंदुस्तान
क्या इसीलिये हमें मिली ये आजादी
के हम पैदा कर पाए सैंकड़ों शैतान

नारी के प्रति कहा गया वोह सम्मान
जों घूस ना ले ऐसा हैं क्या कोई इंसान
एक नेता जों लोगों के लिए काम करे
और गर्व से कहे मेरा भारत महान

फिर भी निराशा के बदले
मेरा यह विश्वास हैं
के एक सुनेहरा भारत बनाने का
चाबी हमारे पास हैं

जै हिंद