Quotes worth a Million

One Liners / Pun Liners

Pun intended one-liners have usually found its way into my conversations with my colleagues at work and at home (where it comes more naturally).

A colleague of mine CVS, often talks about spirituality when it comes to dealing with the problems at the workplace. So I call him as “Free Free from the Start of Leaving Foundation” because his advice comes for free.

A subordinate came up one Friday evening to inform me that he would come in late the next week as he was planning to attend the Art of Living Sessions. The next Monday morning as soon as he reported to work, I told him “Now that you have finished Art, you please Start of Living”

Another colleague calls me Nicole (sounds like my first name) and I retort back saying “Don’t Kid-man” in an obvious reference to former Mrs Cruise.

My colleague RKR was cooking at home, while another was watching the ease in which he was chopping the onions, adding the spice, etc. I casually commented “The expert that he is, he is completely at ease while showing his expertise”

We were on the way to attend a function. As always we had started late. I stopped at a signal. My wife said “Only we stop at this signal. The others drive away as if there were no signal lights here”. She added “Look at them, they are staring at us because we stopped here”. I retorted “They maybe amused to this, but I am-used to this”

On the way back home, a colleague asked me what i have been upto. I replied, “Nothing! These days I am technically weak and functionally cannot speak. ”

“Then why do you work so late every day?” she queried. I responded “I am getting killed, to get someone else billed”.

One colleague was rattling out bits and pieces of Kannada. Another asked him “Oh! So do you know Kannada?”. I responded “He speaks very fluent Kannada, apart from the fact that he knows about 2-3 words in that language.”

During an internal training session at work, we were asked to create punch lines regarding Hospitality. Our team managed to come up with “Hospitality is when your guest returns home and ….”. We were wondering what to add to make this sentence complete and meaningful and instantaneously i said “feels homesick”. My team members appreciated me for having delivered the punch in the line.

The icing on the cake is the final one for this post. This one made me realise how much my habbits has rubbed onto my wife. Just to surprise her one evening, I prepared tea.  Being the sweet person that i am, i added more sugar while preparing. As soon as she had sipped the tea, my wife had this to say “This is not my cup of tea!!!”.


Comments on: "One Liners / Pun Liners" (8)

  1. hai niki,

    You got the time to write. ok. please do write. Chennagi barediddi.

  2. hi
    gr8 read.
    well you have chosen to merely skim over ur wonderful oneliners’ stock.
    waiting for more.

  3. hey nikhil…

    i hav to say tht inspite of the fact of being used to ur oneliners i m still bemused by this one 🙂
    nicole kidman …wala was too gud…
    but i think i have heard many others from u which are just amazing…u need to put them on as well….
    hats off ….2 ur writing skills..waiting for another post

  4. this is stupid.. must go!

  5. This is cooool.. 😀

  6. Back to being “Vintage Niks” all over again! Yay! Look forward to more such ones from you.

  7. Good Nickisms.. Keep it coming!

  8. hai
    same smallpuri[panipuri]yalli mr sanjeev kapoor chocolata haki madidane. avaga ninna nennpu ahitu .[last week khan khazana]

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